Sometimes the world is just too much to take.

So, Frito Lay created a bag for Sun Chips that’s supposedly completely biodegradable. Basically, given enough time, the bag just disappears instead of choking up a landfill for ten thousand years. Great, right?

One catch: the bag is louder than before. Some customers don’t like this – there’s a Facebook group and everything! – and recently sales are down.

Of course, instead of continuing to be environmentally responsible in their own little way, Frito Lay is yanking the green bag and bringing back the old one.

Once again Sun Chips buyers can safely bring their desired salty pressed corn mash to the opera or snack away while surrounded by sleeping bears, environment be damned!

And let’s not consider that sales might be down for any number of other reasons, such as recession-limited junk food budgets or changing prices in other foods or the creation of Late Night Cheeseburger Doritos, which if I’m high as a space station and I have the munchies and I’m strapped to choose between Sun Chips or Cheeseburger Chips I’m taking the goddamn cheeseburgers because duuuude I am so wasted right now and it’s, like, a cheeseburger in a chip in a bag and my heavens WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

Nope. Blame the loud bag because that’s the only thing we know we’ve changed.

This reminds me of a story that I think I read in an issue of Car & Driver, where a manufacturer was explaining why their new model took a longer distance to slow down than the last one. It boiled down to, “the old brakes were better, but we got a lot of complaints about too much brake dust, so we had to switch to this crappier but less dusty brake pad.” Dunno about you, but if I’m about to hit someone, I’d rather have the better pads and hose dust off the wheels later when I’m still alive because I had better brakes.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my room, weeping for humanity.