Kristin and I made like actual adults and rented a Rug Doctor carpet cleaner over the weekend. A few thoughts on the experience:

1. No surprises: an industrial carpet cleaner works pretty well. Many areas look brand new. Coffee stains vanished completely. You’d only notice the red wine stain (we’re clumsy people) if you knew it was there. It even handled the pet (we think?) stain (maybe??) affectionately known as “the mystery spot”.
2. The most annoying part is how frequently you have to refill the cleaner and dump out the dirty water. It felt like every three minutes. Needy little appliance, this one.
3. Related to the above: Pay the extra $2.00 for the “wide track” model that’s 50% wider and holds twice as much water as the smaller model. It’s two bucks to preserve a small slice of your sanity.
4. I’m an educated person and I don’t often say “Ignorance is bliss” but Jesus Christ on a pogo stick do not look at what’s in the dirty water. Ewww! We were sitting on that carpet! What color is that?!!
5. /vomits
6. Speaking of that, within 48 hours your dog will throw up on your fleetingly spotless carpet.

And the mystery spot lives on. Such is the way of the universe.